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Archive for 11/11/2007 to 11/18/2007Kids in Funny Photos[...] Source: McCafferty's Pub  Spinning Up the Backstairs AS you may have surmised, our post title is little more than a stupid uninspired cleverish play on the name of the song we’ve decided to feature for today’s spin. That’s right, your eyes don’t deceive, we said WE. Once again we’re doing our best to fill in for the delightful (and WAY more clever) [...][...] Source: Central Snark Mikka’s Video Jukebox 11/17/07 Electric Six again, because they rock. “Gay Bar.” [...] Source: Renal Failure Strap in, shut up and hold on. We're going back. Last weekend I put an exhaust fan in the ceiling for my wife's grandfather. After a bunch of hours spent in The Hottest Attic In The Universe, he had a ceiling fan that ducted to the side of his house.While my brother-in-law and I were fitting the fan in between the joists, we found something under the insulation. What we found was this:A JC Penney catalog from 1977. It's not often blog fodder just falls in my lap, but holy hell this was two solid inches of it, right there for the taking. I thum[...] Source: 15 Minute Lunch Remarkable Dancing Parrot [...] Source: McCafferty's Pub Elvis would have tufts of ear hair. I saw an article this week talking about how this University in the UK used some program they've developed to "age" a picture of Elvis in order to find out what he would look like today if he were still alive. It turns out that he would look a lot like the illegitimate love child of Powers Boothe and Ernest Borgnine:It also turns out that a variation of the program used by the researchers at said university is available online.Upon seeing this, I decided to see what I would look like in another [...] Source: 15 Minute Lunch Caption Contest: National Treasure Lately I feel like I should have the phrase "Sorry, I've been really busy" automatically prepended to the body of all my emails. I forgot how time-consuming this whole employment thing is. How the heck do you people get anything important done when you're working all day?Anyway, sorry about not replying to comments and not making my blog visiting rounds. I'm hoping things will normalize a bit in the next week or so.In any case, at least I haven't been too busy to do the really important thing[...] Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places: Real Life Sucks Back to my whole dating experiment thing. After seeing the wretched mess that is craigslist I decided that maybe my pimp hand, which is strong (don’t make me beat you with my shoe), needed to be used. Now sometimes I have trouble being able to recognize red flags. Like maybe I will start dating a girl [...][...] Source: Pointlessbanter Well…poop THERE are many many reasons to love and adore our daringly delicious and delightful friend (not to mention semi-frequent — tho’ we wish it was more — Snark contributor), THE LITTLE BLUE PILL. The following charming anecdotal post — which, as it turns out, is the perfect Yin to yesterday’s brown-colored Yang — is just [...][...] Source: Central Snark Bernie the Half-Cyborg Cat’s Video Jukebox Fatboy Slim “The Joker.” Bonus: Nora the piano-playing cat. [...] Source: Renal Failure A Furious Feed Of Fantastical Facts People often point out the many similarities between the Ominous Comma and other popular blogs such as BoingBoing, ProBlogger, and TechCrunch, namely the use of words, images, and occasional punctuation. Although it’s true that all of us A-list bloggers* provide our readers with prodigious volumes of useful information, the key factor that differentiates me from the [...][...] Source: The Ominous Comma What’s In My Bag- A Meme Dispatched Soil your ducky print nightwear, fragile organisms! This is Grundir the Implausible, I mean Implacable. The Frogster requested my presence to dispatch a meme, and my lord Diesel obliged. Cower, um, thoughtless meme-taggers! Thou shalt taste my iron, I mean, steel! Theresa tagged The Frogster with a meme she called, “What’s in Your Bag, Or Something Along Those Lines.” Well, Theresa, [...][...] Source: The Frog Bog "Posterior" Would Have Been Better submitted by new contributor Complain AwayWhat if I'm in a wheelchair? Thanks for asking.----------------------------------------------submitted and asst. reviewed by frequent contributor Rev. Arnold HendrixHow does one become an official "Prophecy Expert"? Is it like baseball, where batting .300 will get you into the Hall of Fame? Or is it more like a field goal kicker where closer to 80% is expected?Wouldn't it be better to be an expert in Scripture or theology or something? Then you coul[...] Source: Crummy Church Signs Brown WHAT good is a “suggestion box” if we never check it? Well, NO good, unless, of course, no one bothers to “suggest” a topic for us to discuss in the first place. Happily, someone we admire and/or adore DID, and, being the “helpful blog” we are in any given post, we find ourselves tickled to [...][...] Source: Central Snark Vanessa Hudgens Wins Poll, Keeps Her Job [...] Source: McCafferty's Pub The Post Where I Make Things Right With the Touchy Females So my last post got me called a misogynist, which is rather unfair, since I don’t hate women so much as I hate people in general. That’s why my blog has the sub-heading "Antisocial Commentary." I even wrote a book with that title. I’m not sure how that’s unclear. Am I not using a big enough font? Ok, ok, I don’t hate people, at least not the way I hate Grey’s Anatomy, but I do find them to be grating and tiresome, like one of the later episodes of M*A*S*H where Alan Alda spent the whole[...] The Laying On Of Hands: submitted by new contributor John FletcherIs this the answer to the question "What can we get our pastor for Christmas?"To be fair, John says this church is in a strip mall with other businesses. But still...---------------------------------------------submitted by frequent contributor LincolnGoing up....4th floor....women's clothing, bathroom accessories, and avoidance of eternal damnation.....--------------------------------------------"Have you watched your DVD?"submitted by frequent contrib[...] Source: Crummy Church Signs A Few Blonde Jokes and a Blonde Video [...] Source: McCafferty's Pub Carping Diem: Annoying Like a lingering illness, Doctor Harold Toboggans, is working his way through your system. Far too late to induce vomiting, a laxative and OSHA approved hearing protection are highly recommended “Isn’t there someone else you should be annoying right now?“ Dr. Toboggans is the staff psychologist, resident motivational speaker, and official personal development coach of the Ominous Comma. [...][...] Source: The Ominous Comma Of course this cartoon is just plain silly - everyone knows they CAN see their reflections [...] Source: See Mike Draw Vladimir Putin’s Dog (Yet Another Exclusive Frog Bog Interview) Another post today from the desk of The Frog Bog Topic Suggestion Board, AKA Theresa. Well, the post isn’t from her desk, but the idea is. Was. Whatever. THE FROGSTER: “We all recall the dark days of The Cold War, except Lisa, who is too young. But those of us in grade school in the 1970’s remember being [...][...] Source: The Frog Bog Guest Reviewer: Emily, the Not Crummy Sister Things are crazy around Casa Crummy right now. I'm busy addressing envelopes, in preparation for sending out the books once they arrive (any day now...). They've all been addressed, and are just ready for signed books to be placed in them, which should speed things up once they get here.You might recall last week that I mentioned the place we were going to move into burned...well we were able to transfer our earnest money to a different property, so now it's looking like we might be able to mo[...] Source: Crummy Church Signs The Greatest Breasts in the World [...] Source: McCafferty's Pub Can We Talk? One of the great things about language is the fact that you can use it to communicate with other people. For example, I might say to you, "Hey, could you hand me that pencil?" And then you might, if you were so inclined, hand me that pencil. And that would work out great for me, because in this particular example what I was attempting to communicate was that I wanted you to hand me that pencil.This may seem rudimentary to roughly 12% of my readers, because thus far my focus has been on normal[...] Modern conveniences stink. One of the places we go camping has changed over the years. Here's another story about this same place.It's become more commercialized, more people are using it, and really, it's just not the same as it was when we first started going there. You can tell by the posh accommodations that have recently been installed.Case in point:In other camping news, I finally got one of these:Now I don't have to hang our food from a tree every night to keep the bears and raccoons out of it.There isn't really a [...] Source: 15 Minute Lunch Who me? Yes you. Couldn't be! Then Who? submitted by frequent contributor Jenny Sowers"Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's Oreos, nor thy neighbor's Chips Ahoy, nor his Milanos, nor his 'Nilla Wafers, nor his Fig Newtons..."What's that? Fig Newtons are OK to covet?Oh.....-------------------------------------------------------"You can't have a well-fed church by serving fast food."submitted by frequent contributor Sandi Y.Next thing you know, they're going to tell me that I can't use my fingers to eat the Lord's Supper anymore...-----[...] Source: Crummy Church Signs Re-Visiting Hours I have covered a lot of ground on this blog lately, so I thought I would double back for a bit and follow up on some recent posts, just to makes sure they haven’t developed shin splits or been accosted by marauding Yiddish telemarketers. Blogging Week First up is a recent exercise in marathon posting that I [...][...] Source: The Ominous Comma I'm sorry. Voice mailbox for....GOD....is full. I know this sign isn't entirely true, and I know that because I helped Him set up his voice-mail box a month ago. So I know He has it.God's kinda old-school, though, and by that I mean He isn't very technical. Put it this way - his VCR has been blinking 12:00:00 since 1975. Yeah. It's Betamax. I was over there last week and we watched Spiderman 5. Where he got that on beta I'll never know. The small miracles amuse him.The problem with the voice mail thing is that it only rings 4 times before go[...] Source: 15 Minute Lunch Must have own cape Now taking applications for: Evil Sidekick in World Domination Plans Age: 24Location: FloridaI am now taking applications for the unique privilege of assisting in the conquering of the World. That's right. We will conquer all in our path and lay waste to our enemies. As you could imagine, such a prestigious position has very stringent requirements. You must not be taller than me. I am tall and will not stand being dwarfed by anyone. You must have intellect to match your charm. While an IQ test[...] |
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