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Archive for 4/6/2008 to 4/13/2008My hate for you is everlasting.-Day 95.-.I have to warn you guys that I had another one of those super craptacular days that makes me grind my teeth while smacking my forehead. .I don't know why I don't heed the signs that tell me I should just turn my happy ass around and go back home to hide under my bed. .So... some bloggers have weekly things they do like Wordless Wednesdays (Offended Blogger-jean knee) Everyone Can Bite Me Fridays (Suzy) and Silly Saturdays (NCS). I decided to do my own. Mine will be "FUCK OFF FRIDAYS ON[...] Source: Bee's Musings  Octopi: They're Just Like Us As I was already donning my Superintendent Superior cape tonight, naturally I cruised on over to the my regular haunt, Scientific American online (or SciAm, to those of us smartarians in the know). Ready for a little Sunday night intellectualizationing, you can imagine that I was rocked to my core when upon my arrival, I read this headline: "News Bytes of the Week--(Weird Sex) in an octopus's garden. " Scuseme? Weird octopus sex? Okay. I'll bite.I learned so many enthralling factoids about those[...] Source: this blog is eggsalady We Spend All Our Dollars At The Cents Store! I don't usually quote the deep profundity of words set forth by the lyrical genius that is Akon and Wyclef Jean, but their collaborative song, Sweetest Girl got me thinking. When the two belt out the main chorus "Cause I'm a tell you like you told me, cash rules everything around me, singing dollar, dollar bill, y'all" all I can do is nod my head and mutter "True dat. True dat."While I may indeed harbor some guilt of living for the bill and whining for the bill, never once have I actually killed[...] Source: The Smiling Infidel The "Church Signs Say the Darndest Things Part 2" Offensive I don't know why, but Sundays always make me feel like casting aside my offensive thoughts to take the time to contemplate the deeper, more spiritual things in my life. It is a day for reflecting on all my blessings and to really work on being a better person.OK, I'm lying, Sundays make me really only think of two things:1) I wish Jesus's taco truck was open today.2) The church sign generator is too much frigging fun to play with!My first round of church signs still brings more traffic to my blo[...] Source: The Offended Blogger Weekend Update This is the song that comes into my head when I think of weekend blogging. I picture an endless desert with nobody around, and a single cowboy blogger riding alone on his horse.But I guess it's not a bad thing that bloggers are doing something else on their weekends besides... well, blogging. I suppose it means that people actually have lives. Imagine that.* * * *I woke up this morning after having this strange dream where I was playing in a nightclub, and after one of my songs some guy in the a[...] Source: View From The Cloud Name My Blog Contest! I've come to the realization that the title of this blog is very unfitting. Seven Seeds, however accurately it describes the fact that I have seven children, does not succinctly describe the blog and it's contents. So here's what we are gonna do (yes, we...that means you too:)We are going to rename the blog! You may leave your suggestions in the comments section. You may leave as many suggestions as you wish. The winning entry is subject to availability. I don't want to get chewed a new one for [...] Source: Seven Seeds Woman Make Fire Jesús has taken the girls for a spin around Pamplona, and I've been left in charge of lighting the barbecue. What? Me light the barbecue? Wait a minute. That's a man's job. You know, it goes with the whole "Man is here, Man make fire" thing. But Man is not here, so today Woman makes fire. Man's parting words as he left for Pamplona, "Just douse the coals with alcohol and throw a match on." Okay. Yeah, right. Well, I hope Man likes Woman without eyebrows, because I have a feeling she wo[...] Source: The Rain in Spain... Name My Blog Contest! I've come to the realization that the title of this blog is very unfitting. Seven Seeds, however accurately it describes the fact that I have seven children, does not succinctly describe the blog and it's contents. So here's what we are gonna do (yes, we...that means you too:)We are going to rename the blog! You may leave your suggestions in the comments section. You may leave as many suggestions as you wish. The winning entry is subject to availability. I don't want to get chewed a new one for [...] Source: Seven Seeds Name My Blog Contest! I've come to the realization that the title of this blog is very unfitting. Seven Seeds, however accurately it describes the fact that I have seven children, does not succinctly describe the blog and it's contents. So here's what we are gonna do (yes, we...that means you too:)We are going to rename the blog! You may leave your suggestions in the comments section. You may leave as many suggestions as you wish. The winning entry is subject to availability. I don't want to get chewed a new one for [...] Source: Seven Seeds The Usual Suspect We missed our niece's and nephew's first communion mass yesterday. Not for the lack of time management skills, or a faulty alarm clock...no, that would be a normal reason. As you very well know, events in this house are anything but normal.One of the kids had flushed a small Nerf ball down the toilet in the master bathroom. Did they bother telling us? Nope! We found out the hard way when someone went #2 and the whole toilet overflowed. My poor husband had to scoop out all the poop water and then[...] Source: Seven Seeds The Usual Suspect We missed our niece's and nephew's first communion mass yesterday. Not for the lack of time management skills, or a faulty alarm clock...no, that would be a normal reason. As you very well know, events in this house are anything but normal.One of the kids had flushed a small Nerf ball down the toilet in the master bathroom. Did they bother telling us? Nope! We found out the hard way when someone went #2 and the whole toilet overflowed. My poor husband had to scoop out all the poop water and then[...] Source: Seven Seeds The Usual Suspect We missed our niece's and nephew's first communion mass yesterday. Not for the lack of time management skills, or a faulty alarm clock...no, that would be a normal reason. As you very well know, events in this house are anything but normal.One of the kids had flushed a small Nerf ball down the toilet in the master bathroom. Did they bother telling us? Nope! We found out the hard way when someone went #2 and the whole toilet overflowed. My poor husband had to scoop out all the poop water and then[...] Source: Seven Seeds Have your roofing way with me. This hasn't really been a funny week for me. I'm sitting here right now waiting for a roofer to come to my house and screw me. He's getting sloppy seconds because I'm still sore from the heating oil guy who pumped 158 gallons of Texas tea into my tank this morning to the tune of $600 bucks.If you remember, we had a little bit of sheet-rock damage in the living room and bedrooms due to an ice dam on the front of the house. I finally got around to checking out the back of the house, and it tur[...] Source: 15 Minute Lunch Poker the Spartan Way I try to play poker once a week and Friday was my night. Tournaments in Southern Maryland are low in the eye-candy department and high on the angry-drunk-o-meter. Here is the closest picture I could find resembling 75% of the competition.I generally don’t drink while I play, but sometimes I have a beer at the start to bring myself down a notch. For as long as I’ve been playing, I still get shaky at the start and my nervousness takes on a life of its own. This should sum up the science of it all:[...] Source: Honey Pie Sunday Retarded Argument #17 Earlier in the week we saw a perfect example of why we do this flame war parody. Names were called. Insults were hurled. Characters were questioned. Such is the nature of running a political humor site. Now it’s time to relieve (not relive) the stress of all those genuine flaring of tempers. By arguing over something no sane person would have strong feelings about. Except the readers here, of course. Alex L. of The Discreet Charm of the Middleclass gives us the topic for the week. Shoul[...] Sunday Retarded Argument #17 Earlier in the week we saw a perfect example of why we do this flame war parody. Names were called. Insults were hurled. Characters were questioned. Such is the nature of running a political humor site. Now it’s time to relieve (not relive) the stress of all those genuine flaring of tempers. By arguing over something no sane person would have strong feelings about. Except the readers here, of course. Alex L. of The Discreet Charm of the Middleclass gives us the topic for the week. Shoul[...] Poker the Spartan Way I try to play poker once a week and Friday was my night. Tournaments in Southern Maryland are low in the eye-candy department and high on the angry-drunk-o-meter. Here is the closest picture I could find resembling 75% of the competition.I generally don’t drink while I play, but sometimes I have a beer at the start to bring myself down a notch. For as long as I’ve been playing, I still get shaky at the start and my nervousness takes on a life of its own. This should sum up the science of it all:[...] Source: Honey Pie fear of flying no, i’m not talking about the classic 1970s woman’s lib book by erica jong, which coined the term, “zipless eff.” i’m talking about the terror-inducing, debilitating, completely irrational, white-knuckle fear i experience every time i have to get on a plane. generally, i avoid all instances where i would have to fly. for example, over xmas break we DROVE from houston to orlando - in one day. being that there’s no way to drive to paris, i’m pretty much s[...] Source: leighonline Vintage ads of fictional futures: a contest I spotted a Photoshop contest that looked like fun, so I thought I’d have a go at it (with a Skwibbish twist, of course.) You can see the results to the right. (Original ad here. Synopsis of THE ROAD here. [wiki] In the original contest, the idea was to take modern products and display them in a vintage advertising light. (You could reverse that too, but boring.) So, find some vintage ads, and then insert a product from a fictional future — it can be from a book, movie, TV, etc. [...] Source: The Skwib Woman Make Fire Jesús has taken the girls for a spin around Pamplona, and I've been left in charge of lighting the barbecue. What? Me light the barbecue? Wait a minute. That's a man's job. You know, it goes with the whole "Man is here, Man make fire" thing. But Man is not here, so today Woman makes fire. Man's parting words as he left for Pamplona, "Just douse the coals with alcohol and throw a match on." Okay. Yeah, right. Well, I hope man likes woman without eyebrows, because I have a feeling she wo[...] Source: The Rain in Spain... Woman Make Fire Jesús has taken the girls for a spin around Pamplona, and I've been left in charge of lighting the barbecue. What? Me light the barbecue? Wait a minute. That's a man's job. You know, it goes with the whole "Man is here, Man make fire" thing. But Man is not here, so today Woman makes fire. Man's parting words as he left for Pamplona, "Just douse the coals with alcohol and throw a match on." Okay. Yeah, right. Well, I hope man likes woman without eyebrows, because I have a feeling she wo[...] Source: The Rain in Spain... A new spin on blaming the dog. -Day 96-Quick one today. Andy is saving his "allowance" to buy a new set (pair?) of headphones. Turns out his are broken but we cannot agree on who is the culprit. I leave it up to you, the mostest smartest of readers, to decide.Let me set the scene for you.Bee, walks in to the kitchen after a long hard day at work. Andy stomps out of his dungeon ready for a battle.Andy:Your fucken' dog broke my headphones! [my fucken' dog is Tazz the Destroyer]Bee:What? How? [concerned, thinking Tazz shredded t[...] Source: Bee's Musings A new spin on blaming the dog. -Day 96-Quick one today. Andy is saving his "allowance" to buy a new set (pair?) of headphones. Turns out his are broken but we cannot agree on who is the culprit. I leave it up to you, the mostest smartest of readers, to decide.Let me set the scene for you.Bee, walks in to the kitchen after a long hard day at work. Andy stomps out of his dungeon ready for a battle.Andy:Your fucken' dog broke my headphones! [my fucken' dog is Tazz the Destroyer]Bee:What? How? [concerned, thinking Tazz shredded t[...] Source: Bee's Musings The Weekender Offended Hey fellow offenders, it's the weekend again, and this Weekender Offender is dedicated to my older brother and sister, as well as my therapist who has really helped me to get over all of the offenses that those two bastards committed against me as a child!!Ugh.If you only knew!!!I was seriously traumatized by them.Seriously!!Anyhoo... for my WTF?! Friday Offensive, I gave you, my #1 fan, a picture of my sad self circa age 10, along with a list of clues that told the whole sordid tale of the terr[...] Source: The Offended Blogger A new spin on blaming the dog. -Day 96-Quick one today. Andy is saving his "allowance" to buy a new set (pair?) of headphones. Turns out his are broken but we cannot agree on who is the culprit. I leave it up to you, the mostest smartest of readers, to decide.Let me set the scene for you.Bee, walks in to the kitchen after a long hard day at work. Andy stomps out of his dungeon ready for a battle.Andy:Your fucken' dog broke my headphones! [my fucken' dog is Tazz the Destroyer]Bee:What? How? [concerned, thinking Tazz shredded t[...] Source: Bee's Musings |
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